A Coming Out Party

I closed my eyes and took a deep breath.  I did not belong in this world of formal words and fancy clothing.  Of glittering jewels and words coated in honey to hide the disdain they felt.  They did not realize but their body language allowed me to read their emotions like an open book.  This world of deceit and deception in the name of being proper and eloquent made me sick, sicker then standing on a battle field covered in the blood of my enemies.  Even having to take on a city full of undead, which smelled of rotting meat and decayed blood.  Some of them exploded when you sliced them.  It was not as sickening to me as being the outside of the doors to this High Court.  Yes, being covered in zombie guts was far easier than being covered in beautiful silks and shimmering jewels.

I am not good at this.

I'm a warrior.

I'm not…

"Presenting her Royal Highness, Princess Star Mystic Malek Silvermane of the house Elowena," …That.  I took another deep breath as I heard the doors open, opening my eyes to see a ball room decorated in my honor and people decorated for the sake of being rich.  Stepping forward in natural grace I entered the ballroom.  I am graceful because I am half cat and quarter elf, not because I am a Princess.  "Accompanied by her son, Prince Merl Awlkeron Malek of the house Elowena."  My little son.  He was adopted, and all of four years old clinging to the side of my dress.  It was his first time in High Court and he was terrified, I could not avoid this moment though…as much as I had tried.

Merl looked adorable.  His white hair was past his shoulder blades and plaited into one braid with a bright blue ribbon trying it into place.  The silk of the ribbon and robes all matched his bright blue eyes in color.  He was dressed as an elven Prince even though he was a pure blood white dragon.  The long robes graced the floor parting only with his steps to reveal the silver silk pants that were underneath.  He also had a jerkin of the same silver color and fabric with a black silk shirt under it.  Layers of clothing.  The elven way, at least it was here.  The silver band that graced his brow helped to mark him as a Prince.  My poor little boy, never had to be the prince in this aspect before.  I kept him from the court as much as possible though I taught him the proper ways.  He was not overly welcomed into the court, either because it was known he was adopted or that they believed he was birthed to the young Princess with no father in sight.  There had only been one person to ever vocalize his mal-contempt for Merl's acceptance as a Prince before an open court.  He had a burn scar on his left cheek.  My mama had not been happy when Merl was referred to as a bastard mistake and told that he should not be honored as a prince…the Lord in question was lucky I had heard about the story and not been there instead.

I am naturally pale, almost ghostly so, and since I was not sleeping I looked even more pale.  To help hide the tiredness I felt from not sleeping in the past three months, I did not necessarily need to sleep, I wore make up.  I had practiced a lot, during my sleepless nights, to perfect the art so I did not look like I was wearing any.  My auburn hair has been braided and curled so that the silver tips swirled and danced through the length.  I naturally had soft curls at the ends of my hair but now I had much more defined curls.  Cream colored pearls and silver leaves had been weaved through my hair, I am sure I looked like a fancy disco ball.  My dress was cream in color with tiny flowered embroidered in such a light shade of green they were almost the same color as the dress.  The dress had a high back but a low front to show the ample cleavage my corset offered to the world.  A silk shawl was draped from my elbows as I did not feel like keeping it on my shoulders, it meant that I had to hold the two halves, that would hang down and drag behind me as I walked, with one gloved hand while my other hand was gently resting on my son's head to bring him comfort.  My ears felt heavy from the chains and jewels that hand from their elongated points.  Ears that were too long and pointed to be human but not long or pointed enough to be elf.  More jewelry decorated my slender waist, trying to distract from hips that were too big to be elven, my neck to distract from the fact I had a little too much cleavage, and around both my wrists to distract from the fact I was indeed wearing silk gloves that disappeared under the long belled sleeves of my gown.  All pieces were platinum, including the circlet gracing my brow.  The metal was weaved into a beautiful design with an emerald tear drop gem hanging down between my eyebrows.

I felt stupid.

This was a party to introduce me as an eligible Princess whose hand was in need of a ring.  I was expected to dance with all the eligible men, which dancing did not bother me but most were not the best dancers and at 5'9" I was taller than the average elven woman of 5'5"-5'7".  I did not fit in anywhere I went.  It helped even more, of the Malek children I was the least of elven blood.  Furthermore I wasn't even really a Malek.  My father was a Silvermane, my step father was a Malek.  I did not belong here, but I painted a look on my face that would not betray my emotions.  I was here because my mother was the High Princess of Elowena, and she hated being here as much as I did.  She was dressed more simply then me but still was elegant and strikingly beautiful.  Why could I not have inherited her beauty along with my hips, thighs, and chest?

This was my night after all.  A night I did not want because it helped crushed the little self-esteem I had worked hard towards.  Too tall, too curvy, whoever heard of an elf with freckles?  Too this.  Not enough of that.  A child.  Who would want a woman with a child?  Who would want someone already impure?  Disfigured eyes.  Such a wrong look.  My hearing was far more sensitive than an elf's.  Every whispers and smart remark cut me but I refused to let it show.  I was just happy that Merl couldn't hear it.

My grandpa came and lifted little Merl away from me.  My child cried, so he stopped with a small frown.  The King of these lands didn't know what he should do, return my hatchling to me or try to move forward with this damnable ball.  He returned Merl into my arms as I was not letting him be taken away when upset.  "Thank you Noldatar," I said softly to my grandpa.  Noldatar was the elven word for grandpa.  I moved to sit in the chair designated for me among the royal family.  I could be tripped on later.  Perhaps Merl would keep me from the embarrassment of dancing with men who wanted my crown or were just doing it because it was polite or the mandatory thing.  Tradition.  Everything was tradition, ritual, time honored, yada yada.

Frankly, I hoped to give up my crown but it didn't look like my nineteen year old brother Dravex was going to take it.  The twins, Lyr and Musa, were fifteen and I could not tell where their lives were going.  Aryiana was eleven and too young for me to wonder about, then there was the other set of twins.  Violet and Ivy, both nine and more concerned with dolls still then balls and crowns.

Why did my birthdays have to be so stupid?  I missed a simpler time when our birthdays were just our family.  Mom would bring in a morning cupcake, and then through the day there would be little gifts and plenty of happy laughs.  It didn't help that in but a few days it would be Merl's birthday, technically Merl was still only three.   I did not want this spectacle for his birthday, he did not seem to enjoy it any more than I did.  Too bad in two weeks of time alone it was my birthday, Merl's, and then Dravex's.  It meant the court was crazy for those two weeks.  Thankfully I had been able to ignore my birthdays for several years now and Merl's birthday too.

I didn't belong here.  

Merl didn't belong here.

Dravex ended up with Merl cuddled close to him as I began dancing the night away with people who could not find a rhythm that would match with mine.  I had to adjust my rhythm for their's.  I was invisible.  All that people could see were my flaws, my races, my bizarre eyes, or my title.  The person that I am…didn't exist here.

I didn't belong here.

I was beginning to learn I didn't really belong anywhere.